My boyfriend (let's call him "Bear") and I have been together a year and a (almost) seven months. While that doesn't seem like it been that long it is for my generation I guess. I see couples my age who don't make it past 3 months. There isn't anything wrong with that at all...I just know I'm happy to find someone that makes me happy even if it is for the time being.
With that being said a year and a half is also a long time to go without having a "real argument", which brings me to the real point of this post. My Bear and I just had our first real argument. Sure we've "argued" but those have been more of me ignoring Bear or, through texts. Anyway this one was real. It took something else happening to get to the actual reason of why I was upset but, after all was said and done I felt good. I felt grown up finally.
A real verbal argument can be the end all be all of any relationship. And let's be honest arguing is not fun and it takes a lot out of you. Arguing all the time clearly isn't healthy but neither is never arguing. I was finally able to let someone in and let them see the vulnerable side of me. Bear accepted all my craziness and tears.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I should have known all along that if I opened up it would have been in both of our favors. A real relationship needs to have those ups and downs along the way to make it worth it. What's the point in being in a relationship if you're not going to be honest with your significant other and more importantly yourself? Not allowing yourself to vent to someone you love is a surefire way to create tension in your relationship (romantic or platonic). So argue a little, make your feelings known and, learn to compromise.
Remember the best things are worth fighting for,
Jayne Doe
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